


넌

by LaVie_EnRose



Series: welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Whipped culture, You've been warned, donghyuck is his m u s e, heavy lyric usage, i listened to the song, k - Freeform, mark is in love, markhyuck, maybe a little too in love, nct - Freeform, none inspo, on a loop, short-ish, stan CRUSH, yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 02:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18562042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaVie_EnRose/pseuds/LaVie_EnRose
Summary: "The younger makes up everything that he is. With no Donghyuck to love he doesn't have a purpose, empty as the universe with no stars, no moons or planets or the sun, just dead, unmoving. Useless. His everything is completely full of the boy."





	넌

One two three four, quick beats that Mark hears in the dark of his room. 

 

_you you you_

 

Donghyuck, who lays asleep on his chest, unknown to how painfully wanting Mark is, looks completely at peace. His lashes are so short, the blonde boy can hardly see them because there's no light in here and even if he has to strain his eyes to go over the youngers features, one two three four pounding of his heart, Donghyuck is too gorgeous to look away from. To look at anything else is a waste. 

 

They don't usually do this. 

 

The need is always there simply because he's in love with Donghyuck and there's no other way to see it-he knows this, but to touch and risk whatever's left of his pride because of the overwhelming  _want_ he feels, breathing the same air, looking at the boy, he could never. He just doesn't initiate anything. There's never a time that he reaches out and somehow the brunette always manages to see this, the longing on his face and the ache of Mark's heart that can be felt from cities away. He seems to understand that Mark won't do what he wants, that he'll never move to be with him so Donghyuck is assertive. Always watching his gaze, reading Mark and guessing right when he slips a hand into the elders, quiet, no show and the blonde will  _sigh,_ relief like he never knew the burn in his chest when they aren't glued to each other. Like he never knew he could breathe in the first place without the younger near him. 

 

Just thinking about Donghyuck makes him hurt sometimes. To think and be far apart is like being underwater, gasps of air leaving Mark and he's surprised he's never drowned like that before. To think and not breathe Donghyuck in afterwards is death itself. He hates to think about him. It makes him burn all over. He loves it too. It doesn't matter where he is, what he's doing-he's addicted to him. The smallest of sounds or a taste, a smell, a view always making some connection to Donghyuck Donghyuck _Donghyuck,_ his Donghyuck who can be in the same room as him and still Mark chokes up, makes Mark miss him anyway. 

 

He can't help how greedy he wants to be about the whole situation. Donghyuck with his cheek all squished into his chest, not a flaw visible. Mark wants to keep him forever, only ever hear the soft noise the brunette makes in his sleep when Mark makes to move away, clinging weakly onto the front of his shirt. He wants to have this forever. Delicate intimacy with a hand brushing at coffee colored bangs, almost to the eyes but barley above them, puffs of air out petal lips. He's afraid he'll ruin it. 

 

He aches all over. 

 

Doesn't matter when. Or where he is, where he'll be he's always thinking of Donghyuck, heart constricting, tight tight tight. Donghyuck is so beautiful. Not just physically because there's no way any person could  _deny_ that, fact. His everything makes Mark melt. In the way that he is. In the way that he moves and breathes, sings, lives, laughs, exists. He's bright, fullsun on earth and if he didn't shine like he did the whole world would give out and die. Or at least Mark's would. Another fact. Donghyuck is boisterous and lively, bubbly, gentle, eye catching, no one can ever look away when he speaks. He's tentative. A character you wouldn't expect to see so much given so little but he's wildly good with body and language. He's good at everything, call Mark biased. He's not (he is). He's caught all of Mark, taken his _soul_ , his whole heart and self with zero mercy and the blonde will beg him to do so and continue this for years on end. 

 

Mark thinks being in love with Donghyuck makes him a little unhealthy but what is love anyway? He lingers and waits, patient because it's always worth a glance in his direction, a comment a joke, a smile that turns his blood to gas, lights him up and sets him aflame. Kills him so sweetly. He's almost a zombie when he isn't doing his daily duty and loving Lee Donghyuck. No sleep. No interest in things like music or food if they don't have puppy eyes and a voice that calls out to him in his dreams, day or night. 

 

Mark would rather be this than who he was, someone who wasn't all in for Donghyuck.

 

How could he ever? Even with all these thoughts, none of them would make sense, mean anything if not for Donghyuck. 

 

Of course he's alive. Of course he's a person that lives and breathes himself but he can't remember what it was like before the brunette and he doesn't care much for those memories. Being near Donghyuck is almost worse than being away because he's an idiot. He's a fool, beyond expression but without him the world is dark. Everything is dark. Like the dark you blink your eyes to clear, to get away from but there's still nothing to see. Donghyuck is his vision, without him there's no reason for sight. And right now, these same eyes he has going over and over the youngers face because he can and he's _greedy_ that way he still aches to hold him. Every night, every second his heart beats in his chest. He wants and wants and wants to hold Donghyuck. Wishes every moment he thought of Donghyuck the boy would be there, then all that thinking would be of use, not make him hurt so much like he's used to, that he's learned to love some. 

 

The younger makes up everything that he is. With no Donghyuck to love he doesn't have a purpose, empty as the universe with no stars, no moons or planets or the sun, just dead, unmoving. Useless. His everything is completely full of the boy. He's lost if doesn't have him, the truth only makes him love Donghyuck more. Need him more. Need him now. Never have anything but him. This want, this feeling strong as gravity and everything above that is _more_ important than anything beyond earth and the universe. When he thinks about him, like now, when they touch just as they do-that's all he  _needs._

 

Donghyuck is all he needs in life. 

 

This want, starting in the toes up to the hair on his head that he feel, that moves him to _be_ is enough for eternity. And all the lives after this one. He's in love love. He knows.

 

_want you_

 

Mark hopes he wakes up soon or he'll do something stupid like hold him. 

 

Like hug him and love him and kiss him. 

 

"Hyung?" 

 

He's broken and relieved when Donghyuck leaves, slips out of his room. Away from the darkness that seems to close in on him, blinding. But- _but_ thinking of the younger helps and it doesn't. Always thinking of him. Always. 

 

Always. 

 

 

 

 


End file.
